Haphephobic
by Through the Mirror Darkly
Summary: Rogue meets a woman who is like her, only it seems that she is more put together. However upon a second glance, it's easy to see how she falls apart. (Set during X-Men: the Movie, mentions of X-Men: First Class)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I do not own X-men. This is purely for amusement, and no profit what so ever.

**Summary: **Rogue meets a woman who is like her, only it seems that she is more put together. However upon a second glance, it's easy to see how she falls apart.

**Inspiration: **A thought occurred to me. So many other mutants have similar mutations, in fact throughout the film series we catch glimpse of mutants with the same powers. I just thought what would happen if Rogue had someone who had the same powers as her, but had conquered them.

**Haphephobia: **Is the fear of being touch, or touching someone else. It is an acute exaggeration of the normal tendencies to protect one's personal space, expressed as a fear of contamination or invasion, and extending even to people who its sufferers know well.

**Timeline: **Set During X-Men: the Movie, mentions of X-men: First Class

**Songs that helped inspire me:**

"**Losing Your Memory" by Ryan Star**

"**The Void" by Darkness Fall**

"**Shake It Out" by Florence and the Machine**

* * *

**Haphephobia**

_By ThroughtheMirrorDarkly_

* * *

**PART ONE OF TWO**

"**THE CARD"**

It was startling.

So startling that it made Rogue's heart stop in her chest. How easily it had went from a quick trip to the mall to it being one of her worst nightmares. A cold sweat broke out along her skin, and she felt fear seep down deep into her bones as she stared down at the hand around her _bare _wrist, right between her glove and shirt sleeve. Skin against skin, something that hadn't happened in over a year. Something that Rogue had been conditioned to fear because when she touched someone…it all went bad. For normal humans, she drained their life force. For mutants, she temporarily drained their powers. But in the end, Rogue ended up hurting other people.

She held her breath, and waited. Waited for the inevitable reaction, waited for the other woman's face to go pale like death and her to gasp desperately for air.

But it never happened.

The brunette woman with pale green eyes blinked, her brows furrowed as if heavily in thought. Her rosy tint lips were parted in mute surprise before she looked up from where she held onto Rogue's wrist. "That's a shock," she murmured, a faint accent to her words though Rogue couldn't quite make it out. "I hadn't…well, I hadn't ever expected to meet someone like me. Sorry about grabbing you that away, I'm afraid at times I'm rather clumsy. Especially in heels."

Rogue reeled back, pulling her wrist free from the woman. "What do you mean someone like you?" Her southern accent thickened when she was in distress. Her touch _hadn't _hurt the other woman. Hadn't even phased her, and instead of any amount of relief, Rogue felt panicked. Her heart was thundering in her chest, and she felt her stomach twist into knots.

"A copycat basically," the woman said, simply. "Not the scientific term mind you, but I never really did bother to pay attention to all of that." Casting a wary glance at the bustling crowd around them, she had an uneasy smile on her face. "The mall is probably not the best place to have this conversation. Here," the woman reached into her jacket pocket and Rogue tensed, prepared for an attack. Instead of a weapon, the woman drew out a business card. She held it out to Rogue, and gave her a lopsided smile. "Here's my information. In case, you ever want to talk."

Rogue hesitantly took it.

"I can understand your fear," the woman said, her smile taking on a wistful kind of sadness. "It's understandable. I was like that, too, once." She cleared her throat, and cast a look over Rogue's shoulder. "I think your friends are worried about you."

Rogue blinked, and looked over her shoulder to see Storm standing there with arms folded over her chest, with a watchful eye on them. Rogue drew in a deep breath, feeling more comforted that Storm was watching over her. She turned back only to find that the woman had disappeared into the throng of people as if she hadn't been there at all.

* * *

"She said nothing else?"

Rogue was slumped slightly in the cushioned chair, feeling more than a little self conscious sitting in front of the Professor. Jean, Scott, and Storm were all there, too. "Yeah," she nodded, with a slight shrug of her shoulders.

"You're positive?" Scott stated, sharply.

"Ahm positive, alright?" Rogue gave him a look. "That's all she said. She told me that she was just like me then she gave me a business card. Told me that if I ever needed to talk and all that."

"May I see this card?" Professor X asked, quietly.

"Sure," Rogue put up no resistance and she pulled the card out of her pocket. She handed it over the Professor who examined the golden card with keen interest. He stared at the black words printed on the card. It was for a prominent gallery in upstate New York, and the name _Nicole Gallagher _with a phone number underneath it.

"I don't like this," Scott gave his opinion. "Someone who just happens to have the same powers as Rogue magically shows up at the mall? Doesn't that sound just a little bit too convenient?"

"Stranger things have happened," Jean mused.

"Not like this," Storm shook her head. "I agree with Scott on this. I think something is not quite right with this whole scenario. How certain are we that Magneto is truly out of the picture?"

Rogue felt a jolt of fear rush down her spine, and her eyes went wide. She had not forgotten everything that happened. That she had almost died for that man's machinations and had almost taken Logan with her…it would haunt her for a long time to come.

"This was no work of Magneto," Professor X said, ending the argument. There was a strange expression on the Professor X's face, as if he was confront with a ghost that he hadn't expected to find. "No. I do not believe that this work of someone with ill intentions at all. Tell me, Rogue…can you remember the woman's face?"

"I…" Rogue frowned because in all honesty she could not remember the woman's face. "No. It's all a blur. Like a far off dream," she murmured, with a deep frown.

"Just as I suspected. She did not want you to remember," Professor X stated, setting the card on his desk with the utmost care. "She was always so careful like that."

"Professor?" Jean looked startled. "Are you telling me…you know this woman?"

"I believe I do," Professor X nodded. "It has been many of years since we have spoken, but I would still call her friend if she so wished it. In fact, if I had known how to contact her when you first arrived to this school, Rogue, I would have. There is no one else in the world that can understand your mutation better than she."

Rogue felt a little flummoxed. She had pulled away from nearly everyone in this school, save for a hand full of people. She had drifted into isolation resigned to the fact that she would never learn to control her abilities and suddenly Professor X was telling her that was not the truth? "Why…why did you not say anything about her before?" Rogue couldn't help, but to ask.

"Because…some things are too painful to remember," Professor X admitted, with a heavy sigh. "And she is one of those things."

"Hold on a second," Scott pinched the bridge of his nose. "How do we really know this woman can be trusted? I don't mean to question your word Professor, but people do change. If you haven't seen this woman in years, who is to say that she hasn't?"

"Perhaps she has. Perhaps she hasn't," Professor X commented, quietly. "There is no real way of knowing. Not really. But I have faith that she is still the same Nicole that I knew long ago."

Rogue stared at the Professor and noted there was a hint of sadness on his face. Like they had just stumbled upon an old wound that hadn't ever quite healed, then a split second later the Professor wore a smile. "If that is all," he stated, and one by one with Rogue being the last, they exited his office leaving the Professor stew in his thoughts.

Professor X moved over to the window, and stared out at the clear blue sky thoughtfully. _Why now? Why did you choose now to reappear, Nicole? Was it an accident…or is there something more you are after? _He thought, half tempted to reach out through that old bond he shared with her. One he hadn't used in so long for he had given up on every reaching her. In the end, he didn't. Instead, he sat there lost in thoughts of the past and the many regrets that were there.

* * *

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**I finally got around to watching X-Men: Days of Future Past, and I rewatched X-Men: First Class when this plot bunny hit me. **

**Rrs are appreciated.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I do not own X-men. This is purely for amusement, and no profit what so ever.

**Summary: **Rogue meets a woman who is like her, only it seems that she is more put together. However upon a second glance, it's easy to see how she falls apart.

**Inspiration: **A thought occurred to me. So many other mutants have similar mutations, in fact throughout the film series we catch glimpse of mutants with the same powers. I just thought what would happen if Rogue had someone who had the same powers as her, but had conquered them.

**Haphephobia: **Is the fear of being touch, or touching someone else. It is an acute exaggeration of the normal tendencies to protect one's personal space, expressed as a fear of contamination or invasion, and extending even to people who its sufferers know well.

**Timeline: **Set During X-Men: the Movie, mentions of X-men: First Class

**Songs that helped inspire me:**

"**Losing Your Memory" by Ryan Star**

"**The Void" by Darkness Fall**

"**Shake It Out" by Florence and the Machine**

**I want to thank, When and Where in Rome and justme2134, for the follows!**

**I want to thank, When and Where in Rome for the fav!**

**And I want to give a special thanks to When and Where in Rome and CandyHearts22 for the reviews!**

* * *

**Haphephobia**

_By ThroughtheMirrorDarkly_

* * *

**PART TWO**

"**THE TALK"**

Rogue didn't call right away.

She wasn't sure she wanted to call at all.

But then she had been on this date with Bobby, and the more fun she had with him the more she realized that she was never going to be able to have a relationship with him. Not unless she controlled her powers. So here she sat several months later in a coffee shop nervously tapping her foot against the ground. She jumped when the chair adjacent was pulled back, and she looked up to find the woman standing there. "Sorry. It seems I have a bad habit of startling people," the woman looked a little guilty as she slid into the chair.

Rogue stared, silent. She was a bit confused because from the way the Professor talked, this woman had been an old friend of his. However, the woman sitting adjacent from her couldn't be more than twenty five years old. She was small and petite with dark brown hair, dressed in a simple teal and blue jeans. Her eyes were a light clear green, and her skin was flawless alabaster. "You're…" Rogue wasn't sure what to say without offending her.

Light green eyes flickered with mischief. "Not quite you expected, right?" Nicole Gallagher smiled ever so slightly. "I apologize for fogging up your memories. It was just a precaution, I'm sure you understand."

Strangely enough, Rogue did. "How did you do that?"

"I took another mutant's power. It's one of the ones that kind of stuck with me," Nicole sighed, a bit wistfully. "And they will stick with you. You may not have access to them right now, but in time you can. They will not be as powerful as the originals, but proficient enough to use if the occasion calls for it."

"You mean…everyone I've touched…"

"Sticks with you? Yeah," Nicole nodded. "In a way." She suddenly let out a chuckle, brushing a lose strand of hair behind her ear before she looked at Rogue with a slightly self-deprecating look. "I feel like I should apologize again. I'm never good at telling stories, or explaining things because I rarely start at the beginning. Just give me a moment and I'll try to start again, okay?" She held up in hands as if in silent surrender.

"Okay," Rogue agreed, with a hint of smile. Nicole had a warm personality about her that made it hard to hold anything against her.

"You're afraid of touch." Nicole's gaze sharpened. "The very thought of touch makes you ill now. It makes your skin crawl and burn like ice. You know what will happen if you touch someone, and you can't bear the thought of it, so you hide beneath your clothes and behind your gloves. They're a physical barrier between the world and you, right?"

Rogue felt her lips tremble. She knew people knew why she did the things she did, why she wore the gloves and the clothes. But until this very moment, she had never felt like someone had understood exactly what that felt like.

"I know that feeling. I was once like you. I had no control of my touch, and I ended up hurting someone I cared about," Nicole smiled, it was a terribly sad thing on her face. "I'm betting the same thing happened to you, too."

"Yes." Rogue whispered out. She glanced around at the café around them and all the people warily.

"Don't worry about them," Nicole told her. "They aren't paying attention to us. I've made sure of it."

Rogue arched an eyebrow. "You have a lot of tricks."

"I've had to in order to survive as long as I have," Nicole stated, with a light shrug of her shoulder. After ordering something from the nearby waitress, Nicole turned back towards Rogue. "Mine was my little brother. My family and I were heading to the zoo to celebrate his birthday when we were in a horrible wreck. We were all fine. Not even a scratch on us," she confided quietly. "It was like we were given a miracle until my brother went to hug me. I wrapped my arms around him, and he ended up in a coma."

Rogue felt a knot of emotion well up in her throat. "My boyfriend," Rogue said after a long moment. "I kissed him for the first time. His face went pale…and he started gasping for air like he couldn't breath. I put him in a coma."

Nicole gave a sympathetic wince.

"How do you do it? How can you touch without hurting someone?" Rogue couldn't keep the desperation out of her voice. How good would it feel to hug someone again? To just be held? "How did I touch you without hurting you?"

"I believe it's because we have the same ability," Nicole commented, after taking a sip of her hot chocolate. "We sort of canceled each other out in a way. As for how do I manage to go about without fear of hurting someone? I've learned to manage my power." She leaned forward ever so slightly. "The first time your power manifested…it engrained a fear so deep inside of you that you don't know how to ever let you go. If you have any hope of controlling your powers, you're going to have to learn to let that go."

"It's not that easy," Rogue sighed.

"The things worth in life seldom ever are. But that's what makes it worth it," she stated, somberly. There were shadows deep within her gaze, a life filled with so much tragedy to describe it properly. "I want to help you, if you will let me."

Rogue wasn't sure. Usually things that seemed too good to be true were too good to be true, but the Professor trusted this woman…so perhaps she could, too? With a deep frown on her face, Rogue shifted in her seat silently.

"I could talk to Charles," Nicole offered, after a long moment. There was a tremble of hesitation in her voice, and she twisted her hands around the mug in front of her. "Tell him what training I had in mind, and see if he approves. If that will ease your worries?" She arched an eyebrow.

Rogue hesitated, then nodded.

* * *

It was amazing how much people underestimate the power of touch.

How a hand holding another hand could bring comfort. How been held in someone's arms could make someone feel safe. How the simplest of kisses could make someone feel all the more loved. For people like Rogue and herself touch was much more complicated.

A _simple touch_ put her brother in a coma.

A _simple touch_ had sent her back in time.

A _simple touch_ had made her heal, too quick to be natural.

A _simple touch_ had piled one thing after another upon her soul that she wasn't sure how much of the original Nicole was truly left, but she pushed onward because what else could she really do? She watched him for a long moment from the shadows, her heart ached in her chest for it had been a shorter span of time for her than him and feelings were not so easily put away like memories. Her lips pursed ever so slightly, she knew that he knew she was here, but he was waiting for her to make the first move.

Perhaps it was her that should make the first move. That didn't make any less daunting. She stepped forward, silently and carefully. She felt the softest of brushed across her mind, but her mind was veiled from him. A stab of regret went through her because there had been a time when she had no need to raise such shields against him. "Hello, Charles," she smiled, a small and uncertain thing it was. "You are as handsome as ever."

"And you are buttering me up," Charles stated, with a half smile. He turned around in his chair, and faced her. "You always did that when you were about to ask for something that you aren't sure I would entirely approve of."

"Is it working?" She asked, coyly.

Charles didn't say anything right away. Just stared at her with a sad smile. "You haven't change a bit," he told her, his voice very quiet.

"Maybe in appearances," Nicole shrugged her shoulders lightly. "But those always can be deceiving."

"A lesson I've well learned," Charles commented, his voice suspiciously light.

Was that a jab at her? Even if it wasn't, it still hurt like hell. Nicole's face twisted into a light grimace before she managed to smooth out her features. "I've come to talk about Rogue," she steered the conversation to a safer topic. "I want to help her."

"I know," Charles inclined his head.

"I want to take her with me as I travel," Nicole clasped her hands in front of her in order to keep them from fidgeting nervously. "I think it will be beneficial for her. She has isolated herself here because she believes that is what is safest, but that is just setting her up to fail. If she fears the world, how will she ever be a part of it?"

Charles frowned. "I can see your point," he stated, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "But there is a great risk with Rogue's powers, as you well know."

"That may be," Nicole sighed. "But is it not the greater risk her never learning to control it? You never let me hide behind my powers, Charles. You always pushed me out of my comfort zone, and forced me out of my shell."

"It's different, Nicole. You had a margin of control of your powers," Charles shook his head, his brows knotted together. "Rogue does not."

"Not yet," Nicole challenged.

Charles smiled. She really had not changed one bit. Her eyes still held the same fire, and stubbornness that it had all those years ago. "Let us compromise," he proposed, hands folded in his lap. "I will allow Rogue, if she so chooses, to go with you if you can help her gain a bit of control over her abilities."

Nicole's eyebrows shot up to her hairline before she let out a light snort. Her pursed her lips, and she crossed her arms over her chest. "Trying to keep me around, Charles?" She drawled out, amused.

"Is it working?" He parroted her earlier words back at her.

She let out a light laugh. "Maybe a little," she admitted, with a half smile. Her expression fell into one of contemplation and she paced the length of his office for a moment. The truth was that she had missed this old mansion more than anything. The time spent here had been some of the best times that she had ever had, even the times that her and Charles fought over ethics. He preferred no deaths, and Nicole agreed that killing shouldn't be a first choice, but it was still an option. Staring at the familiar walls, she felt a burst of anger. If she had never been so stupid as to try and take Shaw on herself than…she would have never gotten so lost again. With a deep sigh, she twisted and looked him straight in the eye. "Alright. You have a deal," she told him, her voice quiet, but firm.

"Splendid," Charles smiled. "I shall have Storm set up a room for you in the teacher's quarters."

Nicole nodded, and walked towards the door. She grasped the handle, before she froze abruptly. There was a heaviness in the room that she could no longer ignore, and she turned around to look at him. She no longer disguised the sadness within her because she never wanted to put on a mask, not with him. "I didn't mean to leave, you know," she said, her voice strained. It felt like she was had just swallowed broken glass, and the shards of it were stuck inside her chest. "It was an accident. Shaw…touched me, forced me to absorb his power and…it _hurt_." Her green eyes were glazed over with tears that she had been holding back for so long, because she had pushed the memories away instead of confronting them. It had been easier to forget, than deal with the pain of remembering.

Charles sat still as a statue in his chair, his hands clenched tightly on the armrests. His expression was carefully blank, and his breath caught in his throat. He said not a word, and Nicole was grateful. If he spoke then she might lose her nerve all together. "It hurt so much, all I could think about was getting away and then next thing I knew…" she shook her head, lightly. "I woke up in an alleyway in New York City and it was 1990. I tried to find my way back, I really did, but I couldn't no matter how hard I tried. I was stuck…"

Charles closed his eyes, hiding his despair. "I didn't blamed you," he told her, quietly. "I never did."

Nicole swallowed thickly, looking down at her feet that had become very interesting all the sudden. "I…I also know that you think there was something between Erik and I," she said, knowing she had to get it all out now before she lost the courage to do so. "And there was something between us, just not in the way you believed. I will not lie and say I did not come to love him…because I did love him." Her eyes flickered back up to his, and they were filled with heartbreak. "But not like I loved you."

Charles expelled a sharp breath. His expression pained, and for a brief second, Nicole saw a flicker of the young man that she had once known so well.

"Good night, Charles," she breathed out. She shut the door with a whisper, and that only made the pain all that worse. His heart was heavy in his chest, and he let his head fall into his hands as he despaired of the regrets in his past.

_Professor? _Jean's voice floated through his mind, concerned.

_I'm…fine, _Charles replied after a long moment. He took a long moment to rearrange his thoughts into some semblance of order because Nicole's confession had shocked him to his core. _I'm fine. Nothing to worry about. Tell Ororo to prepare a room, we will have a guest staying with us._

There was a brief hesitation. _Alright._

He felt Jean retreat, and he allowed himself to look at the door. He allowed himself to think on the woman who was as elusive as a ghost and just haunting.

"Good night, Nicole."

* * *

_"The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said, and never explained." -by Anonymous_

**END OF CHAPTER!**

**I finally got around to watching X-Men: Days of Future Past, and I rewatched X-Men: First Class when this plot bunny hit me. While I would love to expand on this and delve into a full length story where we see all that happened in First Class, and get to change the future for Charles and Nicole in Days of Future Past, I just don't have the time to write it at this time. If anyone is interested in using the premises of this and making it into a longer fic, just let me know. :D**

**Rrs are appreciated.**


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